The cost of a close shave…

I know there was plenty going on this week in sports that could earn the Dumbass of the Week Award. Martell Webster can’t tell time or count; he opted for a dunk with less than five seconds left while the Wolves were down by 3 rather than pulling up and trying for the tie. There was the poorly chosen headline and comments from ESPN employees that led to a firing and a suspension for seemingly racial undertones. Either of these examples, and others I’m sure, could be granted this week’s award. Since I am the one writing the post, and therefore goddess of all things award-related (at least in terms of this blog), I am choosing to make an executive decision and give the award to the nameless swimmer on a Maryland girl’s high school team, with an honorable mention for her coach.

Now, I realize swimming and diving isn’t typically high on most people’s list of sports to watch. Having been a part of competitive swimming (both as an athlete and a coach) since I was 10, though, it ranks pretty high on my own list. Recently, a Maryland high school girl’s team was stripped of its county title because a swimmer broke an odd, unknown-outside-the-sport rule: she shaved at the pool, during the meet.

Before I go too much further, it seems like an explanation of the benefits of shaving is in order. It may not seem like much, but the hair on a swimmer’s arms and legs can create drag. In a sport where aerodynamics reigns supreme, reducing drag is of the utmost importance. Unlike football, which is still trying to find the science to move forward as a sport, swimming is in the unique position of having been outpaced by science. The most recent Summer Olympics in Beijing brought about the inevitable discussions regarding the full body suits that many of the elite swimmers (and even some high schoolers) were wearing; the result is a return to more traditional suits that force swimmers to rely more on their talent than the latest technology of the major suit corporations. Therefore, without full body suits to cover their arms and legs, shaving (though having never gone away) is more important than ever before.

Shaving has both mental and physical benefits. Obviously, the biggest result is that a swimmer becomes more streamlined now that there is less hair on his or her body; timewise the advantages offered by shaving are usually somewhat negligible (it’s not as if shaving your legs will shave five seconds off your time). That’s where the mental part of shaving combines with the physical aspect. When a person shaves, he or she not only removes hair, but also takes off the very top layer of skin. When that newly shaved skin makes contact with the water of a swimming pool, the result is a tingling feeling that is motivating for a swimmer. It’s a reminder that, since shaving usually only happens prior to the most important of meets, this is an all-out, leave-it-in-the-pool, need-help-out-of-the-water-I’m-so-spent type of race. It gives swimmers that extra “get up and go” needed to push him or herself beyond their usual limits, which is necessary in a sport measured by hundredths of a second.

So, back to the bizarreness of the shaving rule. According to the National Federation of High School Associations, swimmers are not allowed to shave before, during, or after a meet once a team arrives on-site. It’s not to keep swimmers from shaving immediately before a race and gaining some sort of unfair advantage for having shaved five minutes ago, rather than two hours ago. It’s in place to protect swimmers’ health; no on-site shaving means miniscule chances of blood transmission or shared razors. Logical, right? It’s for this reason that coaches drill this rule into their swimmers’ heads (it was always one of the first things talked about during the “rules meeting” at the beginning of my high school seasons). There are heavy consequences for breaking the rule, as the Broadneck (MD) High School girls’ team found out.

After it was discovered that one of their swimmers (name not released) had shaved at the pool during the meet, the Broadneck team lost all points that swimmer earned or helped earned. Just for a frame of reference, had she been on a first place relay team, Broadneck could have lost anywhere from 32-40 points in just that one event, according to usual invitational scoring. Needless to say, those lost points dropped Broadneck from county title winner to third place, and earned their head coach a suspension for the following meet. The girls bounced back and used the lost county title as motivation and went on to earn their regional title in their coach’s absence. While the end result of a more illustrious title seems to soothe any ruffled feathers, the reality is that a swimmer did her team a disservice by breaking a rule that’s only considered “obscure” within the sport simply because everyone knows it, thus it’s rarely broken.

Any swimmer at the high school level knows about this rule; any swimmer who is talented enough to have her lost performance drop her team two places in the standings knows about this rule. Any swimmer who knows about this rule should know that shaving on-site is simply asking to have her team punished. No amount of time advantage is worth risking your team’s performance at a “postseason” meet. Congrats, Idiot.

And an honorable mention to her head coach, Colleen Winans, for not ensuring that her swimmers follow the rules at all times, especially at a county meet. As a coach, your job is to help your athletes improve their skills and perform to the best of their abilities; your job is also to ensure that your athletes follow the rules and know the meaning of fair play. Keep your swimmers in line. Congrats, Idiot.

Dumbass Says What?

We’ve all seen sports teams show visible signs of support for charities while on the field of play. MLB does pink bats and wristbands on Mother’s Day for breast cancer, and blue wristbands on Father’s Day for prostate cancer. The NFL has pink towels, pink shoes, and pink gloves for breast cancer for the entire month of October. And several NCAA women’s basketball teams wear pink uniforms in support of breast cancer for one game each season. This worthwhile trend has trickled down to the high school level, and the other night during a girls’ basketball game between Columbus (Neb.) High School and Omaha’s Burke High School, the home Burke team opted to wear pink uniforms in support of that night’s fundraiser for the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Their plans were to auction off the uniforms after the game to help raise additional money for an organization that grants wishes such as trips to Disneyland and the chance to meet a celebrity or athlete to children ages 2-17 who are terminally ill.

What a wonderful cause, right? As Cameron Smith wrote on his Yahoo! sports blog, “The gesture is a win-win proposition: It raises money for a charitable cause, it gives student athletes a deeper sense of awareness of how they can make a difference in their every day life and it puts sports in their proper place.” At an age when certain things (friends, Twilight, sports, the opposite sex) easily become the be-all-end-all for teenagers, this night showed these athletes, and their families and fans, what was really important. At the end of the game, there would be a winner and a loser, sure, but in the grand scheme of things who ended up where wasn’t a really big deal. The players and crowd were reminded of that by the evening’s larger goal.

What should have been a night of fundraising and basketball turned into a night of fundraising, basketball, and douchebaggery of an unwarranted degree at the start of the second half. The athletic director of the visiting Columbus Discoverers informed the team’s head coach that the Burke girls were in violation of the rules by hosting the game and yet not wearing white uniforms. That’s one slap to the back of the head.

Instead of telling the AD that the reason for the pink unis outweighed the broken rule, the Columbus head coach then turned to the refs and pushed the issue. Head slap number two.

Finally, the refs, who also could’ve pointed out that charity is more important than whether or not the home team is wearing white, decided to “fix” the situation by issuing a technical foul against Burke. Head slap number three.

I understand that rules are necessary to make sure that sports are played fairly, safely, and consistently. In this case, though, Burke High wasn’t wearing their away jerseys just to do so, and they weren’t wearing neon green jerseys just because they wanted to. They were wearing pink unis as an opportunity to do what they could in support of a fundraising event for a very worthy charitable organization. Unfortunately, the visiting team’s AD and head coach were apparently too eager for any advantage possible in the game that they were willing to put better judgment, understanding, and common courtesy aside.

Getting to take two technical shots didn’t have any impact on the score of the game, as the Discoverers won by a very healthy margin. It’s hard to overlook the mental impact it may have had on the game though; the Burke girls thought they were playing their part in a great fundraiser only to be told that their method of doing so broke a rule. Again, at that age, being told you broke a rule when you thought you were doing something right can be hard to get past.

So whose fault is it? The blame for this unbelievably epic fail lies with both the AD and head coach of the Columbus Discoverers. Sure the refs were the ones who called the technical foul, but once an issue is raised regarding a broken rule, their hands become tied, charitable fundraiser or not. The guys from Columbus should’ve recognized a good idea for a good cause when they saw it, not taken away from these girls’ memories of this night. It’s important to note that, while recalling this game will inevitably bring to mind the technical foul, these girls will also be able to remember that the auctioning of their pink uniforms raised an additional $2600 for Make-A-Wish. For that, they should be very proud of themselves and not let the petty stupidity of grown men ruin a great deed.

As for the two men at fault here, pull your heads out of your asses and remember that these are high school girls’ teams, not two D-I programs looking for a bid to the Big Dance. There are things more important than the final score of a basketball game, and they would do well to learn that lesson.

Congrats, Idiots.

An Inconvenient Truth

I’ve got a bit of a problem. My wife left town yesterday. First, on the chance she actually reads this, let me explain how much I love my wife and miss her terribly and no amount of Doritos and hot pockets on the couch in my underwear will ever replace her (and I plan on proving that this weekend with a scientific study). Now that I’ve got that out of the way, here’s my problem: my wife has an incredible knack for leaving town when there’s roughly jack shit going on in sports. She was out of town a few weeks ago, and I was stuck watching the Pro Bowl. I can now honestly say I would rather watch LeBron James play flag football than watch the fucking Pro Bowl. It was a humbling experience, and I’m pretty sure a part of me died inside. (Before any of you suggest I watch nothing, you can shut that down right now. If that thought even crossed your mind, you’re not a person to me.) This isn’t a new thing. Last summer my wife left town over the MLB All Star Game. Keep in mind, I usually buy Extra Innings, so I have access to virtually every delicious inning of baseball bliss. When does my wife leave? During the only three God damned days of the entire summer without real baseball.

So here’s where you all come in. Clearly, this isn’t a problem I can count on going away any time soon. I need to come up with some kind of system to fix this. My first thought was to suggest a kind of sports credit system. For example, I’d be owed whatever an average number of games would be for however long she’s gone. But my wife is clever, and she would immediately (and correctly) argue that I’ve been deficit spending enough to shame our government. So I need a new plan. Ideas?

The Dangers of the Dotted Line

National Signing Day. It’s a day set aside for high school student-athletes to announce which college they’ve chosen to play for the coming fall. What should simply be a day of celebration for the accomplishments of these young guys who have demonstrated the talent needed to move to the next level in their sport has devolved into a media circus that leaves a trail of unnecessarily inflated egos and a misunderstanding of the purpose of college in its wake.

 I’m not saying these kids aren’t talented; far from it, actually. They are amazing examples of athleticism, speed, and strength. They’re likely 3-year starters (maybe even 4-year) for their respective football teams, and they’re used to having newspaper articles regularly written about them, doing interviews with the local news station, and being the all-around “big man on campus.” Their feats in high school football have earned them this recognition; they deserve the right to have a little fanfare when announcing their plans for college.

 Unfortunately, the last few years have turned National Signing Day into a media blitz that bombards these teenagers with press conferences, photo opportunities, and big lead-ins to their ultimate announcement. The number of top recruits who now hold national press conferences complete with a pep rally attended by the whole school is growing. One of the biggest issues with the first Wednesday in February is that it can lead these kids to believe that same kind of hype is going to follow them all the way to Alabama, LSU, or Florida State. And in reality, can we blame them for thinking that way? Not really; the media fuels the fire and fans pour gasoline on top by buying into it. In some way, we’re complicit in the way the general “baseline” ego measurement of college athletes has risen drastically in the past 3-4 years.

 These student-athletes have spent at least the last nine months (or more) being courted by college coaches who come into their living rooms and “sell” their programs. Come play for Nick Saban; we’re defending a national title and your skills could help take the Tide to a repeat. Come play for Mack Brown; there’s a tradition of Longhorns excellence that we want you to be a part of. Come play for Urban Meyer; we’re moving the Buckeye program forward and we think you could help us rebuild this team. How does a 17-18 year old boy come out of those home visits with a healthy sense of where his place will be on the team that fall?

 That’s not to say he won’t have a chance to contribute to Fighting Irish success; I’m certain he will. Many of them will. But for a vast majority of these recruits, that chance won’t come until their sophomore year, maybe even their junior year, depending upon their position and the team’s roster depth. Most of these student-athletes will spend a good portion of their collegiate careers on the sidelines, finding their way into a few plays every couple of quarters, or into games that are so far gone fans are leaving the stadium early to beat traffic.

 Let’s face it: FBS college football rosters can have as many as 105 players listed. 85 of those can be scholarship players; in other words, around 85 guys on any given college football team were recruited to some degree by that school. Yet there are only 22 starters on offense and defense, and maybe 8-10 more guys who might be 3^rd down or goal line-stand players. That math doesn’t work out in favor of the recruit. Much of that “we need you at Oklahoma,” or “you’d look good in Michigan blue,” gets lost in the crunch of pads worn by the practice squad.

 That actuality isn’t often shared with top recruits, though; or, if it is, it gets overlooked when the national media caters to these teens by showing up at their high school gym, waiting with bated breath to see which cap each kid is going to pick up. Flashes of cameras, cheering crowds, reporters clamoring…it’s no wonder, as Kirk Herbstreit said, that these players show up thinking they’re “bigger than the program.” And it gets progressively worse each year; more teens are getting press conferences, and the size of these events gets bigger. Students show up on their chosen campus that fall assuming their “big man” stature carries over before getting hit with the harsh reality that they’re small fish in a big pond now. They’re looking at time on the bench, and many have a hard time swallowing the idea that the unwritten terms and conditions of their letters of intent are that dues are owed, payable only in games spent riding the pine.

 We’re aware that the goal of recruiting is to land as many top high school football players as possible as a means to strengthen a college program and bring success. As college football fans, we hope our favorite teams get the best recruiting class possible. Interestingly (or maybe ironically, depending upon your view of the recruiting process), the acquisition of 4- and 5-star recruits doesn’t actually have the impact on a program that we might think it would. According to an article by Peter Keating in the most recent ESPN The Magazine, a recent study done by Winthrop Intelligence ran the numbers (over 100 different statistical categories) on every recruiting class from 2006 to 2010 (that’s more than 11,000 football players), and discovered that there is “no correlation between the number of recruits with more than three stars on an FBS team and its subsequent winning percentages.”

 Hold on, you’re telling me what now?

 Exactly; it’s not enough that there’s never a guarantee that top quality recruits will equal on-field success. There’s actually no real connection at all. Keating goes on to talk about reasons for this lack of association, ranging from when athletes peak physically to the impact of coaching, and it makes sense. High school success may not translate to college success if for no other reasons than it’s a new coach, a new system, and the kid has moved away from home for the first time. So all those miles of traveling and hours sitting on couches in homes across the country really might not be as worth the over-the-top effort now put in by college coaches. Which, in turn, means that the insanity of National Signing Day is definitely not worth all the added publicity and hype of the past few years.

 The other big problem with National Signing Day? The perception that college is meant to simply be a stepping stone to the NFL. Again, I’m not implying that every college football recruit has his sights set on playing professionally; many of them go on to have success in their chosen field of study. Unfortunately, though, with all this praise and attention being given to teenage boys, it’s no wonder that a lot of them assume they will go on to play at the next level. Hell, if Les Miles is taking the time to visit my house and tell me that the Tigers need me in Baton Rouge, I must be the next coming of Jerry Rice or Ray Lewis, right?

 Wrong. If the odds of first-year playing time for the average recruit are as unfavorable as they are, the odds of the average college football player getting drafted into the NFL are even worse. Yet all the attention paid to National Signing Day gives these recruits the idea that signing a letter of intent is just one step removed from signing a rookie contract, and playing the requisite three years in college is just one pit stop on the way to a Super Bowl ring. Again, while the media and fans aren’t the only ones at fault, we are partly to blame for this mindset. Because the media devotes so much time to National Signing Day (ESPN especially), fans get caught up in the whirlwind. All of this adds up to recruits assuming they’re going to be their future programs’ saving graces.

 Going to college is not done as a means to fulfill the basic requirements needed in order to enter the NFL Draft. Going to college is a means to fulfill the requirements needed in order to earn a degree; heaven forbid a player attain that ultimate goal of getting drafted only to find himself injured and unable to play any longer. Without a completed education, what is there for him to fall back on for a sense of stability? There are a lot of football programs that work hard to ensure their players are attending class and doing well; there are just as many (sometimes more, it seems) that will do everything they can (NCAA-compliant or not) to make sure their players are sitting pretty in the gradebook so they’re available on Saturday. It’s these second type of programs that really perpetuate this notion of college football being more important than college classes. When we forget that these kids are student-athletes and not just athletes, it’s far easier for them to forget it too.

 So let’s dial down the ferocity of National Signing Day. Cut out the big press conferences and interviews with ESPN; keep the media involvement to a restrained and logical level and refocus these amazingly talented kids on both reality and school. Major playing time, and especially starting, isn’t going to come right away (or at all for a lot of players), and this time in their lives is meant to be fun, yes, but it’s also meant to be a learning experience, both on the field and in the classroom.