The Poor Sports is a conglomerate of beleaguered sports fans. Collectively, we root for Seattle and Minnesota sports, with some North Dakota hockey thrown in for good measure. We are amateur stat-heads, passionate about our losers, and consummate fantasy nerds. Between us, we have a dozen league titles, seven college degrees, a million frequent flyer miles, and one decent job. And we like to talk about stuff.
The Poor Sports are:
Thom has lived in the Pacific Northwest for thirty years. He roots for the Seattle Mariners, the Seahawks (though he hates Pete Carroll), Washington State, and sometimes, when there’s nobody else local to root for, he might sort of root for Gonzaga. He’s committed to the obliteration of adverbs, and an advocate for bacon. And gravy.
Aaron has lived in the Pacific Northwest for his entire life (33 years and counting). The two brief years he left his hometown of Spokane, he only managed to move even deeper into the Northwest. As a sports fan, he feels he deserves your sympathy for this. He also roots for the Mariners, the Seahawks, and, until some brilliant asshole jacked the team and moved them to Oklahoma, the Sonics. He joins Thom in a salute to bacon and gravy, and feels that possibly Thom should cover some bacon in gravy and invite him over.
Ashley has lived in North Dakota for 28 years (so far…) and feels she deserves far more pity than either Thom or Aaron simply because she is automatically a displaced fan of professional sports. Most North Dakotans will let you know that, because they don’t have much beyond oil, flood waters, and really cold winters, they latch onto and subsequently claim ownership of any professional team within 500 miles of any point within the state. As such, she cheers for the Minnesota Twins (she even had a baseball-themed wedding), the Vikings, and (recently…as in she watched a good portion of a game for the first time two days ago) sometimes the Timberwolves–that’s right Aaron, Ashley still has an NBA team, irrelevant as it usually is. That ownership, for her, extends to any team that involves someone connected to North Dakota (i.e. the Chicago Blackhawks via Jon Toews, and the Kansas Jayhawks via Jeff Boschee). She’s a huge fan of UND hockey, despite the fact that they aren’t nominally identifiable beyond the school name at this point. She also adds her vote in favor of bacon, though she abstains on gravy until told what kind it is.